"ترواده" - Translation from Arabic to English

There you were, the son he never had, thinking dirty thoughts about his little girl.
ها أنت الإبن الذي لم ينجبه ترواده تخيّلات سيئة تجاه إبنته الصغيرة

My thought, whose murder yet is but fantastical shakes so my single state of man that function is smothered in surmise and nothing is but what is not.
فى ذهنى الذى ترواده أفكار القتل يزلزل كيانى كله ويهز قدرتى كرجل